Overcoming Cultural Taboos About Self-Care and Skincare
Written by Jen Gao
For the caregivers at heart, so they remember to care for themselves too.
“Baba, your hands appear very dry. Would you like lotion?”
Touching his hands a bit, my dad replies, “No it’s okay.”
This conversation has taken place several times, among the few times that I see my dad because we don’t live in the same city. However, I’ve since stopped asking because he did eventually explain he’s okay with his skin being dry or rough… to show the hard work he’s done.
I can understand this, as hard work is pretty much all my dad knows. He’s an immigrant who went to college in America and work-studied his way to earn a PhD at Columbia University, and now, he’s a nuclear engineer in his 60s who wants to work until 70 because his work gives him purpose and just something to do.
I can relate to wanting to do purposeful and impactful work until I grow old, but I can’t fully relate because I don’t enjoy having rough skin or sacrificing my wellbeing just for work or other people’s perceptions. I don’t enjoy the dry skin that’s been passed down genetically, so I have a daily habit of moisturizing my face and body every night after I shower.
My mom’s side of the family isn’t big at all on skincare either since it is for some reason stigmatized to take care of one’s self. I know some cultures, especially some Asian ones, are huge on skincare, but that just doesn’t seem to be a thing in my family. Oh whale.
I’m not resentful, as my family is beautiful, caring, and abundant in other ways, but I’ve also recognized that there are certain traditional ways of thinking or acting that I do not agree with and simply do not need to carry on.
I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by women of all colors, especially from my Asian-American sorority, who do great work and make time to take care of their skin and selves, so I know I can and should too.
I’m not too elaborate with my skincare since I come from a family and foundation of little to no self-care, so my go-to hand lotion for drier skin (and lips) is the Aquaphor Healing Ointment. I know some women and men who have more elaborate skincare routines or use better products than I do, and I am content with my basic routine for now.
I will prioritize sunscreen to protect my tattoos and to prevent skin cancer since I love being out in the sun (although sunscreen is useful even on cloudy days), and I’ve been blessed to be introduced to face sunscreens from Japan and Korea, which are much lighter and more enjoyable to use than the brands I’ve used from America.
My favorite one from Japan is the Biore UV Aqua Rich Sunscreen Water Essence shokunin SPF50+ which is pictured below, but you can buy it on Amazon individually or as a 4-pack for a better unit cost.
(The Watery Essence one is better than the Watery Gel one IMO because of its clearer and more gel-like consistency, in contrast to the Watery Gel’s white and thicker consistency. )
And my favorite right now from Korea is the Beauty of Joseon Matte Sun Stick because it’s like a roll-on deodorant but for the face, and the Beauty of Joseon Daily Relief Sunscreen is great too if you want more of a dewy look.
Skincare and self-care don’t have to be difficult, nor does it have to represent weakness. Caring for the self and skin is literally strengthening the body and spirit to maintain longevity. After all, health is wealth, right?
It all comes down to our principles, I suppose.
We’d love to hear if you end up trying any of these products! Or if you have another favorite, please do share :)
